Category Archives: Psychology

Psychology

I’ll Write It… Tomorrow!

A friend and colleague of mine is fond of saying “tomorrow never comes” whenever I say “I could do with that glass for tomorrow”.  I tend to just reply by saying “I could do with that glass for Thursday” or whatever day.

He’s right though and I’m writing this post as a prompt to myself, a call for less procrastination.  You see, I keep saying “I’ve not really got time to post anything today; that article needs more research; I can’t quite think how to put that…”  But it’s all just procrastination, and I get away with it because I can, there are no consequences except that my blog gets no views, oh and the little fact that I feel I’ve in some way let myself down, wasted time that I could have used productively in doing something else that I got no real benefit from.  It’s OK if I’m doing something worthwhile like watching a new TV show, seeing friends or family, decluttering or tidying, but mostly I’m not.

One technique to deal with this is to change routines so that you have no excuses, set a time to read a few news sites, make a few notes, link a few webpages, set a time to write something that is well in advance of when I’ll be feeling tired and would rather be watching something funny on Dave (which, for anyone reading this outside the UK, is a TV channel crammed with quality repeats of comedy shows and Top Gear, and is a tempting diversion).

So now comes the difficult part as changing ingrained routines (or lack of them) can be mentally exhausting but in the end the feeling of achievement, especially if it’s in doing something you enjoy, is all worth it.

I’ve put off going to sleep for too long now, by writing this, so goodnight.

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Psychology

Little Tantrums

Customer Redemption

Customer Redemption (Photo credit: Neil T)

I’ve not written much this week due to having had a busy week at work which included being attacked by a sheet of glass that shattered on me and pierced my glove, leaving a nice chevron shaped hole above my thumb.

Twas but a scratch.

The thing about this week that I feel like writing about here is some people’s attitude and behaviour towards others when things aren’t going quite their way.

We all have situations in our lives which are not ideal – something doesn’t go according to plan, something takes longer than expected, something breaks.  Most of us though have the ability to cope with these difficulties – major and minor – with grace and a level-headed attitude, but today it seems increasingly true that people are becoming less tolerant of problems in their lives and instead of dealing with them in a reasonable manner they immediately lash out and throw a tantrum at the first person they encounter.

So often this is a shop assistant, call centre employee, delivery driver, the list goes on.  But most of the time this person is not responsible for the problem and would probably like to help to solve it given the chance.

In my job this week I have had one customer immediately start ranting that a product was not perfect and before I could even offer a solution this customer began loudly telling me, in a very patronising manner, what I would be doing to to recitfy it.

The other began calling me various unflattering names because I couldn’t instantly provide an exact date for when a product would be available.

Both are symptomatic of a sense of entitlement in society, often associated with percieved status – whether it be financial or a sense of self-importance – combined with a lack of respect for others which leads people to believe that if they shout loud enough then they’ll get what they want, because they should have it, right now, not tomorrow, why should they wait, they’re important!

I find that I’ll go the extra mile for a customer who is polite and has reasonable requests, and that’s true of many people I know in customer service.  Perhaps these people did get what they wanted when they threw tantrums as children, but I think part of the problem is the recently more widespread idea that we can have what we want whenever we want it, and indeed we should expect it.  You get too used to that idea and it comes as a shock when someone says “no”.

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Psychology

Finding a Voice – Self Confidence via Blogging

Writing

Writing (Photo credit: jjpacres)

Last year I wrote a reply to a friend on Facebook about the pros and cons of Windows Phone 7, as he was considering whether to brave Microsoft’s latest or go for the established iPhone.  He chose the iPhone 4 but thanked me for my information and said “have you thought of writing a blog?”

It took me until a few weeks ago to start, but once I’d written a couple of posts in the first few days and fiddled with the layout I hit a wall and I found I had no motivation to write any more posts and continually found excuses not to do anything, I became a master procrastinator.

I knew I should be writing though so I began to analyse my deeper reasons and the answer surprised me as I’d considered myself to be relatively confident these days having overcome many self-esteem issues over the years; I simply felt that I had no voice to be heard, that nobody would want to read what I’d written.  In addition I felt that my opinion would hold no value and therefore I had no right to comment, on anything.

It seems that this is a common feeling in our society where we are bombarded with media imagery that tells us that only those who shout the loudest have value but it simply isn’t true.  Personally, I want to feel like I am part of the world, have a place, a purpose, I am visible, noticed, appreciated and can contribute, and probably already do.

Writing a blog is one form of expression, in the same way that singing on the Karaoke was for me a decade ago, a way of breaking down the internal barriers and fears to reach the self-confidence I want to get back.

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Meta, Psychology

When I Wasn’t the Tallest Person in the Room

Me, being tallThe other day I met someone who was actually taller than me, and this was only about the third time this has happened.  It was a strange feeling as I’m used to (figuratively) looking down at people all the time and I suddenly felt what other people feel when they’re looking at me, it felt slightly intimidating to be honest even though the other person was a very friendly type.  Secondly I felt an unusual sense of disgruntlement that someone was actually taller.

Analyse that.

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